Father to the Fatherless
Could Christians in Ireland fill the gaps in foster care?
(From the October - December 2020 issue of VOX)
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.”
Churches in Ireland are considering how they can get involved after a senior Irish social worker highlighted the urgent need to recruit more foster carers. In October VOX magazine hosted a webinar exploring the subject of fostering and featuring stories from several Irish foster parents. The event was such a success that we hope to do something similar again. Please contact us if you’d be interested.
There are 6,000 children in care in Ireland with 92% of them cared for in a family setting (by relatives or foster carers). Although there are over 4,000 foster parents in Ireland there is a constant need for new foster parents, both to replace those who have retired or to help out where there are gaps, either geographically or with particular types of care. Traditionally it is hardest to place older children, sibling groups or children with health issues or disabilities.
A recent article by TheJournal.ie cited a case in which a toddler was deemed high risk but without available foster parents was left in her home where she experienced further abuse before finally being taken into care.
“Family is the place for children to grow and thrive but we are experiencing increasing difficulty in finding new foster parents… We are frequently forced to place children far from their home, family and friends increasing the trauma they are already experiencing. We are keen to ensure we have local carers for local children. We are open to people, married, single, young or old, who feel they could provide a loving and caring home for a child, for however long or short.” - Senior Social Worker, Tusla
This social worker recognised that in the busyness of modern life, Christians have a value system that means they might be more open to becoming foster carers. You can find out more at www.fostering.ie.
“There is a particular call on Christians to make their homes and families available to children who find themselves without family to live with.”
Rev Andy Carroll from Donabate Presbyterian Church said, “Christians believe that everyone who follows Jesus Christ becomes part a new family; we become children of the living God. There is a particular call on Christians to make their homes and families available to children who find themselves without family to live with. It may be that not every Christian family fosters or adopts but there's a role for everyone who is part of the church to support families who do. Local churches are units of God's big family and we treat everyone in the church as a brother and sister, including a child who has been fostered or adopted. By God's grace the church can work together to support and care for parents and children who become family through these processes.”
Myth Busting
There are many different types of foster care including long-term and short-term placements, emergency care and respite care. You can choose what best suits your situation.
Long-term placements are suitable for children who need permanent foster care and involve caring for a young person until they can live independently at the age of 18 years.
Marital status is not a barrier. There are lots of single foster parents.
Age is not a barrier although very young children requiring long-term care would not be placed with older people.
Foster carers do not have to be homeowners; they just need a stable home environment.
Training is provided.
You decide whether or not to take a placement and there is support from Tusla throughout the process.
Home for Good
UK Charity Home for Good in Northern Ireland has seen significant developments in recent years as the authorities have recognised the significance of working alongside churches to identify and support new foster carers and adoptive families.
“In Northern Ireland, around 70 children come into care every month, which equates to needing a further 250 foster carers to meet the demand.” said Northern Ireland Lead, Malini Coleville. “Our message is, ‘The church can be part of the solution,’”
Since lockdown, Home for Good has moved all its training online, which opens up opportunities for churches and individuals both in Northern Ireland and in Ireland. Visit www.homeforgood.org.uk/connect-locally/northern-ireland to find out more.
Speaking at the New Wine conference in Sligo last summer, Home for Good founder Krish Kandiah challenged Christians to see fostering and adoption as an opportunity to demonstrate the Gospel.
“When God adopted you, what was His motivation? He did not adopt you because He needed you. He adopted you because you needed Him. He stepped up and became your heavenly father because you were a vulnerable child in need of His love,” Krish said.
“For many people, the main driver into adoption is infertility but so often the children in the care system are not the children that most people want to adopt. What would it look like if people came forward to adopt or foster not because of their own needs but because of their love for vulnerable children?”
This was the motivation for one family in Mullingar when they began their fostering journey 20 years ago.
35 Babies in 20 Years
Terrie Coleman-Black and her husband from Mullingar have been fostering for 20 years. She is passionate about encouraging Christians to see the potential for providing a loving home for children in the care system.
We had adopted our daughter from a Romanian orphanage. Then a friend from church asked whether we would consider fostering. We went for it and our lives just changed. We are emergency carers for babies and over the years we have cared for 35 babies. We can get a call at a moment’s notice and they can stay with us for up to ten months. From the beginning, we embraced it. We continued even after our second daughter came along. It is a family affair. We always felt that if any of the four of us wanted to end it, we would because we are in this together.
“It does your heart good to see them developing and becoming healthy and strong.”
I’m a strong believer that if God calls you, He equips you. When I started in the 1990s, God equipped us all the way. We take little ones who are experiencing huge difficulties. They may have been born addicted to drugs. With addicted babies, you are dealing with that for months but when things begin to turn around, I could just go out and sing. It does your heart good to see them developing and becoming healthy and strong. This early intervention is so important to make sure that they go on from us to become secure and grounded. You cannot put the benefits into words. It is just wonderful to see the change that takes place.
We have had to be prepared to deal with loss. After we say goodbye, we never see the babies again. Each time as a family, we have to work through that. Only once or twice in all those years, someone has approached us in a supermarket and that has been joyous.
“Our faith gives us strength when times are difficult. Fostering is not easy. But if you have something to stand on it makes all the difference.”
Our faith gives us strength when times are difficult. Fostering is not easy. But if you have something to stand on it makes all the difference. I can’t imagine being without it. From day one, we have had support from our church family.
The myths are huge. People are often scared to step into fostering. It has had a lot of bad press. We want to break down the negativity and present the positives. Some people think that you will get a child who is so damaged that they will wreck your home. But you always have a choice.
Our social worker spent a long time writing about our family and trying to represent us fairly. We wanted our Christian faith to be represented and he embraced that. Everything we said was respected and taken on board.
Even one more foster carer would be a bonus. We know one family that fostered 60 children over many years but they have now retired. New carers are needed all the time. If anybody would like to step forward, I’m always willing to talk to people. The process takes a while but my advice to people is to make a start. You can choose how much of a commitment you are willing to give.
To get in contact with Terrie, please email us at VOX magazine (editor@vox.ie).
