A SEEKER’S LIFE
By Ana Mullan
(From the October - December 2021 issue of VOX)
Fantasy in book form and films is a genre that attracts a lot of people, me among them. Since I was a child, I have had a vivid imagination and it hasn’t gone away even in these more mature days.
Many fantasies have at the heart a hero who is pursuing a quest, who is seeking for something that has been hidden a long time ago, something that can bring healing or closure for a person or a group of people. Of course, in a TV programme this seeking will go on for as long as the show has good ratings.
In everyday life there are also seekers. Some know that they are seekers and they might even know what they are searching for. Others are not even aware that they are seeking for something. They do not live life as adventure or as something that can offer far more than they are experiencing but instead more like a destination. There is no exploring to be done.
A couple of days ago, I was listening to a person who is a Jesus follower and in his talk he was inviting us to consider the fact that we are all seekers, even those of us who have chosen Jesus as our master. He was helping us to see that none of us have arrived because there is a lot more that we can seek when we talk about Jesus.
Some years ago it was “fashionable” to have seeker services, for those who hadn’t understood or experienced the message of Jesus. The intention in doing something like that was good but it makes the assumption that those who have been following Jesus for many years are not seeking anymore. This presents a problem for me.
“The moment we think we have arrived, it is the moment we get stuck.”
I believe in the Trinity, which though many theologians have tried to explain it, is not easily explained. It is a mystery. A mystery is never exhausted, one has to seek it all the time because there is always something new to discover. It cannot be controlled; and that is something that we human beings find difficult. The moment we think we have arrived, it is the moment we get stuck. There is no movement forward, no inner transformation.
In the gospel of John there is scene in which two men, the first disciples, start to follow Jesus as He passes by. They start walking behind Him until Jesus turns around and asks them: “What are you looking for?” (John 1:38 NRSV). The disciples simply answer: “Rabbi (Master, teacher) where are you staying?” and Jesus replies: “Come and see” and they end up staying the rest of the day with Him.
We have been living for the last 18 months and more, in difficult, uncertain and strange situations. Whatever we thought we were in control of, suddenly disappeared. We found ourselves on unfamiliar ground. For many people, it raised questions and as Jesus’ followers, we were not the exception. We not only faced outward chaos but we also found chaos within us. We might have faced fear, anxiety, frustration, anger and loneliness.
Let’s imagine for a moment that we are those two disciples, walking behind Jesus and He turns around and He asks us: “What are you looking for?” (What are you seeking?). How would you respond to that question? What are we seeking in these strange times? Am I willing to be taught by Jesus how to live in this season? What do I need to learn from Him?
“We will be able to see our fears, anxiety, and frustration not as obstacles but as gateways through which to experience His infinite grace over and over again.”
The more we seek Him, the more we will know Him; we will understand ourselves and our deepest longings. We will be able to see our fears, anxiety, and frustration not as obstacles but as gateways through which to experience His infinite grace over and over again.
For the disciples, that was the beginning of the seeking. Even after three years of being with Jesus, they came to the conclusion that they only knew Him in part. We fool ourselves when we think that we know Him because we know some of the stories in the gospels, that those are the only things we need to know. C.S. Lewis expressed it beautifully at the end of The Chronicles of Narnia when Mr. Beaver tried to explain to the children the nature of Aslan.
“…He’ll be coming and going,” he said. “One day you’ll see him and another you won’t. He doesn’t like being tied down – and of course he has other countries to attend to. It’s quite all right. He’ll often drop in. Only you mustn’t press him. He’s WILD you know. Not like a TAME lion.”
The fantasy programmes do come to an end and too many series kill the appetite for more. But not when we seek Jesus and His kingdom message; there will always be something more to discover.
“DEEPLY HIDDEN, YET EVERYWHERE PRESENT”
Ana Mullan is from Argentina but has lived in Ireland for 35 years, the last 18 in Dublin. She is an artist, a spiritual director, retreat facilitator and an enthusiastic grandmother.
