A Listening Life
By Ana Mullan
(From the April - June 2021 issue of VOX)
I grew up in a non-religious home and at age 18, I decided to consider more seriously the person of Jesus. Having been raised by parents who had a difficult marriage, my own relationship with them was functional but not close. To share how I felt about certain issues or the difficulties I was facing was not something I would do very often.
In the church I was attending, there was a couple who loved music and were very good musicians. The husband was the organist in the church and though he was Argentinian he was of African extraction, something unusual in those days in Buenos Aires. His wife was American and together they encouraged all the young people in the church to form a choir. Those were precious times as we rehearsed, laughed and sang together.
But the thing that I remembered the most about them and especially the husband was how he could see that I was an unhappy young adult. He would chat with me and ask me questions that led me to think. Every time I shared something about my life and my issues, I felt I was being listened to. Even when at times I was not walking in the “right” direction, he was willing to walk with me. What I shared was taken seriously; it mattered to somebody; I felt valued.
On the other hand I did experience (and I am sure I have done the same to others), people who with the best of intentions, told me that I shouldn’t feel down, fearful or angry, because I was a Christian. Of course a statement like that led me to feel not only down but also guilty. In my head I was saying to myself, “I should be better at following Jesus. I must try harder.”
Time has passed and I have come to realise that, had I followed the advice I was given, I would have been more like a Buddhist than a follower of Jesus, trying to suppress any emotions or desires.
Sadly, for many people here in Ireland, Christianity is a religion of negativity and control; a religion that takes from people the freedom to be themselves. However, if we read the gospels carefully, we would find a different story.
“We see a God who listens attentively to our fears, disappointments, anger and frustrations.”
We see a God who, in the person of Jesus, loves people by giving them the space to turn Him down and decide for themselves what they are looking for in life. We see a God who is respectful and doesn’t impose Himself on anybody, who asks questions like: “What do you want me to do for you?” or “Do you want to get well?” We see a God who listens attentively to our fears, disappointments, anger and frustrations.
There is a story in the gospels of two followers of Jesus. After Jesus is crucified in Jerusalem they decide to leave the city and to make their way to a nearby town called Emmaus. They are basically running away; they are going in the wrong direction. They walk and talk and share their disappointment, grief and fear with each other. They had thought that Jesus was going to bring freedom to the nation and it hadn’t turned out that way.
Along comes a stranger who asks them what had happened and they tell Him. The stranger turns out to be Jesus. Though He knew very well what had happened, He lets the two people talk and process their feelings. He walks with them even when they go in the wrong direction. Jesus shows them the hospitality of God the Father by walking and listening to them. And then He explains to them why things happened as they happened; He gives them time, space and company.
2020 and 2021 will be years that none of us will forget. We can identify with the two disciples, with their disappointment, grief and fear because so much has changed so suddenly. To have those feelings is not being a bad Jesus follower but a human being. What matters is what we do with those feelings.
“Jesus still walks with us and He is eager to listen to whatever is going on inside us.”
Jesus still walks with us and He is eager to listen to whatever is going on inside us. He desires to help us see things more clearly. The best gift we can give to others at this time is the gift of listening; of walking with them even if they are not walking in the direction that seems right to us. Listening without judging, without trying to fix anybody, but just being there and being a companion on the road.
My friend from church passed away several years ago but the gift that he gave me is still with me.
Ana Mullan is from Argentina but has lived in Ireland for 35 years, the last 18 in Dublin. She is an artist, a spiritual director, retreat facilitator and an enthusiastic grandmother.
