New Bereavement Support Service
(From the July - September 2021 issue of VOX)
Launched on March 17 2021, a new bereavement support service in Dublin is offering care to those who are struggling with grief and loss, especially in the aftermath of the pandemic. Supported by Clontarf Church of Ireland, the service is open to all. The parish Rector, Rev. Lesley Robinson told us more.
“The pandemic has been very difficult on everybody. For me in ministry, there were ways I was able to stay connected and to be a good pastor but the area in which I felt a huge deficiency was the care for the dying and the bereaved. It is normally something we do well in the church and in this country. The low point in ministry over the last year was when our oldest parishioner was dying in a nursing home and I could not be with her,” Rev. Lesley shared. “I felt so useless.”
The loss of a loved one is devastating for anyone. In normal times, when the call comes to say someone has died, a minister will immediately go to be with the family.
“We have a ministry of presence, giving time and support. For several days, it becomes the priority. But during Covid, all we were able to do was to pick up the phone.”
During lockdown, what is already a horrendous situation [the loss of a loved one] was made worse. Many funerals took place at gravesides with drastically reduced numbers of mourners and without the comfort of the extended family or the hugs and handshakes of a loving community of friends and well wishers. With all the normal traditions, processes and rituals of grief curtailed, many people were unable to come to terms with their bereavement.
“We got a webcam put in our church and the first funeral that we were allowed to bring into the church was for a lovely old lady. I had got to know her family but her daughter [who lives in England] could not come home for the funeral. I was thankful for the webcam so she could at least watch the service but so much was taken from people. I wanted to do something to help people process their huge loss.”
Rev. Lesley began chatting with a neighbour, a psychotherapist who had previously been part of a Dublin bereavement service that closed a number of years ago. Another parishioner had worked with the hospice and had a network of counsellors.
“As a parish, we feel it is our responsibility to reach out to anyone who needs support in our community and so we held a few meetings on Zoom to discuss how we could do this. After a chance meeting with a friend who runs a coaching agency, he helped us to think strategically and to set clear goals. Another friend set up a website free of charge. Finally we were ready to launch on St. Patrick’s Day,” Rev Lesley explained.
The Dublin Bereavement Support Service offers free counselling with seven experienced grief counsellors who volunteer their time to provide bereavement support. People can access the service through the website www.bereavementsupport.ie.
“Once people make initial contact on the website, they can choose which counsellor to contact depending on the day or time that is most convenient. Because of the restrictions, we are offering counselling exclusively by Zoom at first but in the autumn we hope to move to ‘in person’ counselling. We have a venue here in Clontarf, free of charge and we are looking for a second venue on the south side. The one advantage of Zoom is that currently we are open to anybody in Ireland,” Rev Lesley added.
The team is also hoping to introduce telephone counselling for people who are unable to connect with technology.
Although born out of a Christian concept of reaching and providing support and help, this is not a ‘Christian’ service, Rev Lesley explained. “We don’t discriminate. The service is open to everyone and I feel that just by doing the work of the Lord, we are rolling out His Kingdom on earth. At times, I get a bit overwhelmed about everything we need to do to move this forward but the main thing is that we had a vision. And it has already come to fruition.”
