Review and Reset
Sean Copeland, CEO of Tearfund Ireland brings the latest of his monthly guest blogs for VOX magazine as he reflects on loss and legacy.
This blog is an excerpt from some writing following the deaths of my father and my mother-in-law; both of whom recently passed away within a few days of each other. This writing focuses on ways those who have passed have informed my life choices, but I wish to alert the reader that the topic of death is discussed.
We have an uncomfortable relationship with funerals. We know they are part of life, yet we often try to avoid the awkward conversations about them. We recognise the importance of making the time to be present at a funeral no matter how distant the relation or acquaintance. When the funeral is for a loved one, we cherish the expressions of condolence whether written, spoken or demonstrated through presence.
Many factors can cause this topic to raise emotions and grief. There are many realities of the world in which we live which do not reflect God’s intended design or desire for creation. Disease and death are realities of a broken world infected by sin. So, somehow, we must attempt to wisely and humbly live in the tension between what Scripture reveals as the purposes of God and the myriad of injustices that exist within the world we inhabit.
A funeral is often a time for reflection; an evaluation of one’s past choices and consideration of one’s future options. When we pause to honour the life of someone close to us or someone we respect, these assessments have potential to carry opportunities for significant decisions.
As a young man I wrote a personal mission statement (yes, I am one of those people!). I did not think this was unusual until I got older and realised a majority of people have never done this. I use Scripture in most of my goal setting. One of these Scriptural goals arises in my thinking at the time of a funeral. The disciple Peter, in his second letter said, “…I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things” (2 Peter 1:15). For a long time, I have endeavoured to pass on to those within my circle of influence what God has spoken, in a way that can be remembered and applied in their life.
A few years ago, I attended the funeral of someone who impacted me – and a lot of other people. This man did not have an impressive job title or a long, high-powered corporate career. He didn’t drive a high-end car, nor would anyone have considered him wealthy. But he had a deep impact on the lives of many people. He did this by investing time in others. He would come alongside, support, encourage and, when he thought necessary, he would challenge. Many of the people in whom he invested are now in positions of significant influence and they have, in turn, continued impacting the lives of even more people.
At his funeral it was evident this man’s influence reached many people across a wide cross-section of society. Sitting alongside those whose names would be recognised sat the nameless, faceless people who, in equal measure, benefitted from this man’s sincerity, integrity and desire to leave the world a better place.
During his funeral one of his pre-selected scripture readings was from 2 Peter 1:12-15. My heart stirred as the verse was read. This man recognised his purpose. He knew his life held a greater purpose. He, too, was committed to doing all he could to ensure we would remember what God has spoken. He did this through his simple lifestyle, purposeful relationships and sharing his wisdom so others would grow in their own experience with God. I am convinced he believed his influence would be multiplied through those who benefitted from his personal investment – but he was humble enough to not allow that be anything more than an objective outcome of his efforts.
Rosemary - the herb of remembrance
Two funerals of close family in recent weeks have prompted me to venture into some periods of deep personal reflection. Saying goodbye to a parent, thanking the Lord for them and embracing the grieving process with my family and my extended families has been a difficult, but good and healthy process. In the weeks since I find myself benefitting from what a friend has called the supportive, relational scaffolding provided by family and friends.
At the same time, my reflections have allowed me to review my major decisions, actions and impact on others. How am I using what God has given me to benefit, inspire, equip or challenge others? In what ways is my love for, and apprenticeship to, Jesus growing? My conclusions from these considerations have reinforced my convictions.
I will continue pursuing my transformation through the renewing of my mind as Christ is being formed in me, so I can live up to what has been attained. And, through the fruit of the Spirit, I will live as a child of God, doing all I can to help others remember all Jesus taught so we can grow mature and, somehow, experience the whole measure of the fulness of Christ.*
(* see Rom 12:1-3; Gal 1:20, 5:14-24; Phil 3:12-16; 1 Jn 3:1-3; 1 Ptr 1:15; Mt 28:18-20; Eph 4:11-16)
Sean Copeland August 2023